Just keep swimming.

Life is tough, sometimes we dont get what we want right away

or the way we want it 

but keep swimming and youll get there. 

(: 

5 De Mayo (:

Time for heartbreak friends. In Mexico, we dont celebrate 5 de mayo! 

Our independence day is September 15

]

September 15 is when Mexico gained its independence from Spain. 

That day Miguel Hidalgo y Costilla gained us independence (: 

So actuallyyyy 

September 15 everyone from where Im from gathers together in Mexico City 

around the angel of independence (which is like our "statue of liberty") 

and repeat the same "grito" (or yell) that Hidalgo did. 

Kind of like this (: 

Viva means forever live! So we basically remember all those great people who helped us gain independence every year (: Its kind of exciting! 

Umm...okay 5 de Mayo I dont ever remember celebrating as a kid. ha ha but it is an important date. 

it was a war that happened in a small town called Puebla. Where Mexico beat the french when they tried to invade us (: 

No celebration really ever goes on except for the day is known as 

"El dia de la batalla de puebla" 

HOWEVER.....

we Mexicans dont mind finding every reason to celebrate!! Give us a day, tell us its a holiday and be sure we'll celebrate it! ESPECIALLY if its to honor our country !! 

So in America you better be sure we celebrate it!! 

we eat, dance, and just have a good time. 

Kind of like this (: 

so now you know (: 

and there I was...

The most beautiful experiences in my life have happened when the Lord has set them up for me. 2 years ago you could've asked me where I was headed and I wouldve given you a full list of plans ahead of me. Even the name of who I'd marry...

Fast forward two years, I look back and think of that girl. How motivated she was, and I am so proud of her, it got her to places where she was meant to be, even if they weren't necessarily where she saw herself.  However, if I could go back two years, I would probably encourage that girl to follow the Lord blindly, to take his hand and let him take the course. 

It was those moments where I was "lost" or a plan "failed" that I found the best things ever. I found myself (: The hardest moments where probably when I fought for something I wanted so bad when in reality it wasnt at all what I needed. 

I can look at the present in the eyes now and say, I thought I knew what you would look like but I had no idea, however...Im glad I trusted enough to get here because youre much better than expected. 

What do I tell myself now for the future??

To keep holding on, to love everyone who I come in contact and to ALWAYS learn from any "failure" because it will lead me to my greatest success. I tell myself now to have goals and dreams and chase after them with all my heart but also with loopholes in case the Lord has something greater. (: 

Its a great feeling to be able to look at the present in the eyes and say, I've used all my resources and worked hard to get here and I know you'll take me somewhere better!!

Keep holding on but be willing to let go when necessary if its in order to find yourself because youre the greatest reward you could give yourself!  

whats yours is yours (:

Holy freak I am about having my way all the time.

Sometimes i want something so bad that I forget to ask if its right for me or not. 

When I want something I want it NOW!!! 

However, I have recently learned that what is mine is meant to be mine and it is written in the books.

As long as I do my part and endure to the end the Lord will make sure that what is mine will be mine (: 

It is what it is.

You know how gravity needs no permition to happen?

How everything that goes up must come down?

Imagine if you spent your entire life trying to stop gravity from happening?

Trying to prove guys smarter than you wrong

like this guy....

what a headache right? 

The gravity rule has already been established, so spending your life trying to defy it would be such a waste! 

It is what it is. 

Same with life! 

Life just happens! Enjoy the Life rule and stop trying to defy it. 

Everything that goes up must come down. 

Somethings we wont have control over in this life...(like gravity)
so just live with the rule and keep going!

There are a few things that you can control...like what to have for dinner!


Start with that and go from there (; 

4 am Epiphany

I guess I havent been too open on here about how tough the past few months have been for me. 

I have gone through some rough times and tired to stay positive and learn the most I can but I cant lie...

The past few months I've done much of nothing. Yeah I got the job I wanted, and from the outside it would seem as though I am doing BIG things with my life. To be completely honest I dont really know how i got to this point but Im sure thankful I pulled it together somehow. Because all these past few months have seemed to be for me have just been, staying home every day, sleeping, therapy, church, work, and a whole lot of negativity and grouchiness from my part. I go back and look at about 6 months ago and think about everything got so out of hand, how things basically crashed and burned right before my eyes and I did NOTHING about it but watch and dwell in self pity after. 

Its funny how we choose what determines our happiness and we use that one important choice on such foolish things sometimes. Some people spend that ONE important choice on , a boy/girl. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why is it that we let ONE person determine our past, present and future? Why is it that love from someone else becomes so important in our lives when what we should really focus on is love from ourselves. Why is it that we put our happiness on hold for someone to come along? What ever happen to OUR dreams, goals, hopes, wishes, life!!!!! Why dont we use that ONE choice on things that really matter? Because somewhere, somehow, in this community we live in, "happiness" comes from finding SOMEONE when really happiness should only be about finding OURSELVES! 

After months and months and MONTHS of having the hardest time of my life and going through the toughest things I have yet it finally came clear recently that MY happiness depends on ME! I choose to depend my happiness on the Lord. These past few days I've decided to focus on him 100% to give my relationship with him one last chance and lets just say....It's good to finally be back! (: Out of that dark place and back into things that REALLY matter!

How beautiful it is to go back to a spot after months and come back fully recovered from what seemed to be the worse illness ever. How great it is to look at Satan in the face once again and say 

"you almost got me this time, but sorry I have a stronger testimony than that!!" (: (: 

Disclaimer: This happiness doesnt last forever if I dont work on in daily, but as long as I do my part the happiness will remain and sure trials will come but life will always be good as long as I choose to be happy! (: 

If I were to look back at that girl today I would probably tell her that the end of the world wont happen because of a boy (: To cut the crying and get to reading! haha but then again, there goes that blunt side in me again (; 

Life is happening (: (: !!

I am seriously obsessed with my job. 

Waking up is sooo hard but being there, is so exciting!!
I love it I love it I love it! Its a learning experience every day and it just does not get old! 

A little update on my life as of now?

Just working (: and living life one day at a time. 

Saving up all the money I can because in 6 months I will be heading out to 

New York for a month! 

I will be there to be part of the Hill Cumorah Pageant!!! 

So for two and a half  weeks I'll be living near these places (: (: 

and then my roommate will join me and we will head here for a wonderful week !! (: 

There are still more plans ahead but thats a little update for now (; (; 

Life is happening friends!! 

I've always known...

This is no new story to me...I've always known I was born for something great! 

I was a hard headed little girl when the missionaries where teaching me but eventually I caught on (; 

Becoming a member of this church has been the most exciting thing in my life and I cant believe how blessed I am to be able to still be part of what I know to be true. 

A couple of days ago I was at work and some of my co-workers and I were discussing some future plans for next year and then I caught myself saying. Well, by then I will have my mission papers in! 

AHHHH!!! It's so close (: I cant turn my papers in until next September (2013) but I can now count down the months until that great day! 

A year and 9 months to be exact (: Time will fly and until then I will prepare myself to serve the Lord when my time comes.... (: 

Today my roommate and one of my best friends entered the MTC (: She will be home in no time and 3 months later it will be my turn to turn my papers in!! 

Hooooraaaaayy for sister missionaries!! (: 

And I know some people will read this and think "
ohh mariana, you still have a long time you'll be married blah blah blah"
 but this is something I've MADE my mind up about and if you know me at all, when I know something is meant for me I do it (: Experiences have taught me this is what I need to do and I cant wait for that beautiful day. Quote me if you may....(;