Growing up some more.

Well, its time to make the announcement on  my blog since everyone that needs to know has been personally told (:

I finally got a place.

Well, it wont be MY place but I'll be moving into an apartment with roommates on January 3rd (: I'm really excited and really scared but it will be a good experience (: Besides, I'm kind of running out of fun experiences for my blog!!

So...its official!

14 days until I move out completely on my own...



The Prince Charming Story...

Well, this is one of those girly posts, so here it goes...

Prince Charming (: Blah, every single girl on this planet earth has and idea of what Pirnce Charming is to them. We all have hope that Prince Chraming will come. I don't think one day I will walk out and in my front door a boy in a white horse will be there. No, not at all. Prince Charming will come at his given time.

You see, when I was younger I painted myself an image of Prince Charming. Certain qualities, that I wanted him to have, certain talents, and even a certain look.

So here is the Prince Charming story:

A few months ago I met the Prince Charming I imagined when I was younger. The look, the style, the qualities, every single detail was there. Prince Charming came into my life (: (: I was at first blown away by how perfect he was, how every little detail was there!

But something was wrong.  "Prince Charming" knew he was "Chraming" and not only did he know but all the girls seemed to notice.

Uh oh, my little 6, 9, 13, 15, 16 year old mind didn't wrap its mind around how Imperfect a perfect prince would be. It took me a few times to realize that "Prince Charming" wasn't what I always thought it was. The qualities I wanted, and everything I hoped for were reachable things but were they important things?

So from night to day my "prince charming" became just another ugly frog.

So what changed? Did the prince really become ugly? Or was his "perfection" just too much to handle?

Well, I dont think there was anything wrong with the Prince. I simply think that my idea of what a prince was changed as I grew older and learned more about who Prince Charming was to me.

Simple enough. Other things became important, some qualities became requirements, and other "talents" became not as important (: 

I know every boy out there being the best He can be, is Prince Charming to some beautiful Princess who awaits impatiently 

 

But impatiently doesn't mean desperately (: So frogs, please stay away.

Happy Ending is what we're all striving for after all! (:

Farewell friends!

It's that time of year again. Where we say bye to friends that are leaving on missions (: it really is such a blessing to have the chance to know SO many righteous young  men who follow the Lord right before our eyes. (: however, it's still sad for those of us who are left behind. I'm not talking in the romantic sense simply because CLEARLY these boys are awesome, selfless friends to have. So when they pack up and go...its always hard to give them that last hug goodbye. 

Who knows where we will be in two years? But one thing is for sure (: the friendship we had was real!! 

Good luck to all the great boys entering the MTC tomorrow! (: The Lord has real plans for you all (: 

Especially Good luck to my best friend Tony (: One year as a member and off he goes to share what he knows to be true! (: 

How does a "normal" girl respond?

A few weeks ago I was at work, and there was a couple there. The way they both were acting was kind of like a "first date", after hearing some stuff they'd talk to I was sure this was a first date. Well, after they are done eating, he gets up and says to her "you look really nice by the way". Now, I know most girls are thinking "aww" but my first thought was 

"OOOOOOOOHHH C'MOOONN!!!!! what a creep!" 

Not to say he did anything wrong in complimenting her but it was just awkward! I don't even think it came out honest, they'd been together for a while...it just seemed like he didn't know what to say but he wanted to flirt some more so he said that. 
Okay, okay. Yes I am weird. So here is my problem. I have issues. hahah well yes I have plenty but the most recent discovered one is. I dont really know how to react when someone (boys) compliment me, but ESPECIALLY when they hit on me. It's creepy i think, but it's part of "dating" (which that's another issue.) 


So today I went to the bank. The teller there ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS hits on me. It's sooooooooooooo creepy and soooooooo awkward. I usually stay away from him when I go in but today I had to make some adjustments to my bank account and he was there! Ready to help!...mmmm....okay, so I sit down. Something that should've taken about 10 minutes tops took 30 stinking loooong precious minutes!!! He asked questions like 
"how is your famiily? What's your relationship with them like? How many brother's and sisters do you have? where do you live? what days are you usually off work? So what are you getting your boyfriend for Christmas? blah blah blah" It was like first date questions at the bank! Creepy. 


I'll admit I left there feeling pretty crappy because I was sooo rude!!!. A little example? Okay, well at the end he asked me when i was going to come back (because after 30 minutes he wasn't able to help me since I didn't have my ID on me). I told him "idk probably after Christmas, it's really not that important and coming isn't the most thrilling thing I have going on on my days off." then he told me what days he works, and what times...so that I can come back and get help from HIM! I was like "yeah, seems like when i come you're always here" and he says "or is it that you look for me?" one of his co-workers I guess overheard him but I didn't see him so I responded "um, sure if that makes you feel important, or helpful then yes. I come looking for you.....but what's your name again?" so his co-worker started laughing and came to give me a high 5. 


Finally, after 30 long minutes I left. It was funny because the feeling i had was weird. i wanted to get out of there as fast as I could because i was running out of responses!!! The guy isn't ugly, nor rude, he's actually very very nice and speaks spanish, he's pretty good looking. So it's not like I would never give him the time of day, but for some reason when I'm put in that situation. I just think its soooooooo weird and I just get annoyed....I can take it when it's a guy i'm close to but when its just some random guy i start thinking "was that a pick up line or are you just being stupid?" lol (: 


Oh, well. I sure hope i'm not the only one with that fear. 


For any guys reading this: Dont worry, I'm sure plenty of girls looove this kind of attention. So I'm not saying this is a bad thing. I just have issues (: haha you keep doing what you do.

Happy birthday to me!!?

Funny to think that when I was younger I couldn't wait to grow older and make my own birthday parties. Spend my birthday with just friends....my kid birthday parties were fun too but I was ready for "big people" parties. 

Well, yesterday was my birthday....I just got home about 20 minutes ago and I just had to hop on here to update my blog because i had some stuff on my mind all day. 

Over all, I had an AMAAZZZINNG birthday! Really, it was a blast!

But I couldn't help but notice how different things are now. 

This morning, we had "lunch" as a family (: My mom took the day off work and came down to see me. So my brother, sister-in-law and my beautiful niece all went out to eat! It really was fun (except for the Haley choking part). I took a picture with my mom that I was really excited for (: and we look great. Then she went shopping with me to find an outfit for my party, and it was really fun! We didn't argue and I wasn't snotty because I never see her anymore, so when I do get to have her around I try to be the best person I can be (:  I didn't really want her to leave...shhhh.

After spending time together she went with me to see the place where I chose to have my party, and I had to pay for all of the stuff necessary. That was the first time ever. Big people parties involve paying for EVERYTHING on your own (well almost, she helped with some) Then it was time for her to go and me to enjoy my big girl party .....It was fun dont get me wrong. My friend's are great, crazy, funny, people but I couldn't help but feel sad that this was the first birthday party without my mom. When the time came to cut the cake, and have everyone gather to sing happy birthday. I had to gather everyone: 

The memory came to me of how I'd never done that before. I was  so used to my mom getting everyone together, and lighting the candles for me. I was used to her singing first so everyone would start. Not now. This was a "big" girl party. Then after blowing the candle, and being smashed into it, I went to clean up...expecting someone to cut the cake and distribute it. Nobody did, I had to ask people to. My mom would always do it. ):

This birthday wasn't bad one bit. But it's funny how now that i'm a "big girl" I wish for things that I had back then; A "big girl" birthday party meant being with just friends...and although it was a blast, the best part of my birthday was being with my family. I'm also poor, paying for everything on my own isn't easy one bit. Finally the cake part....mom wasn't in charge this time. I was. 

If anything this birthday made me realize that I am a big girl now...i guess. 

But mostly it made me appreciate a lot, everything my mom did for me. She's amazing. (: 

Funny how you die to get older, then once you're older; you'd die to go back (: oh well. 

now to make the best out of my "big girl" life. bleh!
I'll update pictures tomorrow.

My mom's birthday present (:

Well, my birthday is in 2 days !!! (: and today i got my mom's present. 

She got me a laptop (: 

Well, i bought it but it was with her money so ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! (: 

I'm really excited, its great and it really motivates me to write, and start school and all that good stuff (: 

So yes. 

I love my mom and I'm grateful for all she does for me although we don't live together anymore (: I love her and know that she looks out for me! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALMOST TO ME!!! (:

100 things i'm thankful for (:

100. Food

99.  Mailmen

98. Missionaries

97. Blankets

96. Toilet paper

95. My chaple

94. My job

93.My phone

92. Facebook

91. The state I live in (: I love utah

90. Pat..she's kind of crazy but always makes me laugh (:

89. Nice cashiers

88. Nice customers

87. For people that listen to me on my dramatic days!

86. I'm thankful for songs that express how I'm feeling

85. Little kids (: i love little kids they always make my day!

84. People who break my heart (: they make my husband hotter and hotter each time they do  

83. I'm thankful for places where I get phone signal

82. Days when my contacts cooperate and don't burn

81. My institute teacher, he's pretty amazing.

80. My whole institute class

79. My YSA group (: they make life easier

78. My debit card

77. Days when I have money

76. My trials

75. My co-workers

74. candles

73. My clothes (although I always think I need more, at least I have some)

72. Every one that ever smiles at me

71. Friends who are fun to talk/text

70.my tooth brush

69. Straightner

68. My ward

67. My bishop

66. Relief Society

65. Summer

64. Malls

63. Other cultures (: I love other cultures

62.Make up (:

61. People who dont argue with me !

60. Honest people

59. People that go through the same stuff that I go through

58. Friends that fear dating, they make me feel not so loney (:

57. The fact that I speak two languages

56. I got to graduate High school

55. Education

54. Recent converts in my ward, or investigators

53. Cars

52.Hot showers

51. Red Box

52. Talented people

51. College Football

50. World Cup (that's something I'm greatful for that happened this year)

49. Loud people

48. Quiet people

47. Girl nights (:

46. MG time

45. Face to face conversations

44.MG's

45. Post office

44. Mission calls

43. Friends on Missions 

42. Everyone that has ever given me a ride anywhere this year

41. Anyone that has ever called me when I'm sad

40. Anyone that can tell something is wrong with me by a simple word, text, or gesture (those are some pretty experienced people and I think there is only like 5 people who can do that so kuddos).

39. My phone charger

38. sleep (:

37. My health

36. My blogger readers (:

35. Patience (the one I have, or the one people have with me)
36. My visiting teachers

35. My church teachers, or life teachers

33. Pictures

32. My camera

31. Hot puff cheetos

30. Hot chocolate

29. Warm clothes (:

28. The sun

27. Moon

26. Stars

25. texting

24. Phone calls!!

23. LETTERS!!!

22. e-mails

21. Being able to walk (:

20. My scriptures

19. Friends who are there for me through hard times

18. Friends who are always there just to have fun and party with (:

17. People to listen to me when I'm having a hard time

16. Firesides

15. The Leaders of our church

14. I am soo greatful for being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

13. I'm very greatful for all the things my mom&  dad taught me when they were around. Their words and teachings have really helped me get through tough times.

12. I'm greatful for those who have always given me a hand, a scriupture, spiritual thought, or prayed for me when I was going through a rough time (:

11.I'm greatful for those who have faith in me (:

10. I am greatful for Joseph Smith and all of the current prophets

9. I am greatful for the Scriptures

8. I am greatful for the testimonies I've heard that have helped strengthen mine

7. I am very greatful for the trials that I face...that although at this time they seem neverending, I know I'm supposed to learn from it (:

6. My patriarchal blessing

5. My family, which grew this year (:

4. My brother, He does so much for me and loves me so much its sick. lol

3. Having a home where I can do chores. haha

2. Having understanding friends, and family who see a lot more potential in me than I do in myself.

1.  Hailey Elise I absolutely am the most greatful for that booger more than anything mentioned above!! I would give ALL of the things above up for this little girl (except the church stuff).

Happy thanksgiving everyone (:

We all are blessed in one way or another. Take time to write down 100 things you are greatful for and you'll realize you have a lot to live for (:

GINGER BREAD COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (:

Okay I'm usually VERY poopy reguarding holidays!!! BUT NOT THIS YEAR!! (:

I woke up feeling pretty lousy this morning and was rather sad....then my brother came to get me to take me on a Walmart trip!


I LOVE WALMART!!!! (:


I found the coolest things!!! There are so many presents you can get people that arent expensive at all!!!!
Lets talk about the ginger bread cookies shall we? (:

While I was walking down walmart looking for something not a bit related to Christmas. I found an isle full of stuff! There was tons of small cute things that were tops $10 dollars!! (: i got really excited!!! CHRISTMASS IS COMING!!! (: and all the stuff was rather affortable....


I found GINGER BREAD COOKIES!!!!


These cookies really changed my attitude towards Christmas!! (: They weren't expensive, only a dollar each...so i got as many as I could afford and left some for some other smart shopper (; 


The point is. The ginger bread cookies may not have been expensive but they are absolutely adorable and I love them (: They are cute and adding a Christmas card to that should make the most perfect Christmas gift for someone! (:


I know its time to give, but the economy right now is poop and there is bearly enough money to live. But I know that if we put our "needs" aside for a second and go out of our way to get something even small for someone we care about we will be A LOT more happier than keeping those $5 dollars for us!!


Of course if you have many talents such as drawing, knitting, cooking, baking, or anything of that matter THEN BAKE FOR EVERYONE!!! (:


I am an honest believer that its the thought that counts (:

A nation under God?

Blahhh... let me state that as far as I'm concern. God's main purpose is to all return with our families. In my beliefs FAMILY is what matters. Nothing else matters to him.

FAMILY IS FIRST

I was blessed with a really nice visiting teacher, she always was so willing to come visit me. She would call so often to ask how i was doing. I remember saying "are visiting teachers supposed to call you as much as she calls me?"

She has a beautiful 3 year old son who was always running around in sacrament. What a cute boy (: He deffinately has his mom's looks. He has that Venezuelan color going for him (: and the hair. He didnt look at all like his dad. American white! (: They really are a beautiful family.

This sunday though, we found out the most terrible news. My visiting teacher was pulled over by immigration and was now in jail waiting to be deported.

What happened? I'm not too sure, but I'm POSITIVE that she didnt steal anything, kill anyone, destroy any property....she simply isn't "legal" so now she's in jail...where REAL criminals should be.

What matters most is she isn't with her family. And she most deff wont be with her beautiful son, and amazing husband this Thanksgiving, or Christmas.

Now, let me tell you about Luis and his family. He's a very hardworking father who has two kids. The girl is 8 and the boy is 11 (: they have the cutest smiles and they giggle like little mischevious kids. I love them. Luis works full time in construction and hardly gets to spend anytime with his family but on days off. YOU BETTER BELIEVE HE GOES OUT OF HIS WAY FOR HIS FAMILY!!! The kids love their dad, because they understand that he works to provide, and when he's not working he spends all his time loving them (:

Today Luis' wife was pulled over (she's not the best driver), she didn't have insurance on her car. Her car was under her husband's name. So the police had her call him to come. When he got there, they asked him for an ID. He showed them the only ID he had (a mexican one. Because it is impossible for an "illegal" person to get an ID in america now), minutes later, they arrested HIM and he's now being held in Immigration waiting to be deported.

No Christmas or Thanksgiving with his wife and kids this year eather. Here is a man who woke up to go to work, his wife called him in need and so as he is, he went out of his way to go help her. He is today in jail where REAL criminals should be. 

I understand that people take that risk when they come here illegaly and that there are laws.
What I dont understand is what happened to

A nation under God?

People avoid this subject and fear talking about it. However, I DEMAND That people learn about this matter and know what's going on. So many uneducated people have already set their mind

"send them all back!" but they dont even know what laws imply.

This is getting worse every day and it really bothers me.  Slavery is not the word perhaps but this reminds me so much of what was going on with African American's back in the day...people think that because its on the "hush hush" its not racisim. BULL CRAP!

THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS FAIR!!

Why dont they go back to their countries?

Believe me, nobody wants to be in a place where they are appointed as criminals, a place where they have  a fear to be deported every day, a place where they can only get a few jobs because everywhre else talent doesnt matter, just a simple paper. NO ONE wants to be separated from their families.

But a better future, and hope to one day be treated as people is something that all these people have in common.

They like Martin Luther King JR "have a dream" too!

Simply now, people are too up their butt and too self centered to stop and think about these people. If I have a job, I'm going to school, I have a house, a car? Why help anyone else have that too right?

I guess it's now a crime to hope for a better future too.

Shopping Craving.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
Usually I'm a pretty normal girl, i like shopping and its fine but I never go out of my way for it. When I'm at the mall, I dont mind being there and rather enjoy looking for cute stuff on sale (:

Yes. I am a very big Sales shopper. I love sales (: they are the bomb....spending too much on something hurts me more than words can explain. BUUT that is not the point.

Lately, I've had this....NEED to go shopping. It's kind of concerning me.

I have some money saved up for Black Friday. And I guess that is why Im dying to just go shopping today!!! Knowing you have money saved up to go shopping is like the best feeling ever!! (:

Last night, I got so stressed out in my need to go shopping that I almost went online shopping.

Pathetic. I know ):

Blah. Only 8 more days....

Thanksgiving? oh yeah im excited for that too i guess. lol

P.S. my great friend shared with me a website that lets you know all the BF deals, what time stores will open, etc. It's rather exciting.

BFads.net (: 



Make decisions that the Lord approves of (:

Alright, I got many text, calls, and face to face questions about my decission.

The decission was to move back to mexico. I prayed lots, asked the Lord, got blessings, read, went to firesides and looked for answers EVERYWHERE i could.

The Lord answered. Next Wed. I needed to move to mexico.

I began to say goodbyes and it was tough!!!

However, when the time came to buy my ticket back....

the  Lord stopped me and shut the door.

I cant say it makes any sense at all!!!! Im back at square one....trying to make a decision.

Im rather conffused, sad, and frustrated because I cant seem to make a decision but if I got something from this experience its a testimony of how much I need to rely on my Heavenly Father to make ANY decision. He loves me and maybe he just needed me to prove to him that Im willing to do ANYTHING for him.

The right decision will come soon (: in the mean time....

I'll keep looking.

Life changing decisions...

Decisions....decisions...

I remember clearly the day when I was 12,13,14,15,16 praying for this day to come. The day when I got to choose what I wanted to do with my life. The day seemed forever far. I never thought they day would come.

Oh how foolish of me....

The day came. Senior year, I began to see friends around me picking a path for their life. I still thought I had all the time in the world so I focused on the moment. I dedicated myself to what I was responsible of at the moment and for some reason thought that by worrying about the present the future would just sorta...plan itself.

WRONG!!!

I'm going to admit that I put off choosing my path for as long as I could. The biggest reason was I couldnt see a path for me. I knew there was one but wherever it was it was hidden. I tried to go with the flow, since school wasnt happening I attempted to work...adults do that right? For a few months I got into fooling myself that I had control and that somehow the future would all work out without me making any big decisions.

WRONG AGAIN!!!

Dissapointment after dissapointment I realized I had to begin searching for my path. Doors began shutting and I finally hit a road full of

Many, many things happened during that time that at some point made me believe "this is what will direct me towards my path" or "okay this is it" and yet every single one FAILED! So now what?

Well...it was time to put to use what I'd learned, read about, prepared for, and time to finally make a decision! Agh!!! it sounds so easy but making the decision that will choose your path is the hardest thing I've done yet. Especially because I always want to make an effort to choose what is in accordance with my Heavenly Father....I dont believe that my life is mine for me to just go wild with. It's my Father in Heaven's investment and I need to make the best out of it....

STRESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I narrowed down my decision to TWO choices...and then it was time to pray!

Both decisions were good ones but there was something missing.

Approval from my heavenly father...So off to the temple I went after a 24 hour fast. As I prayed about both decisions (hoping He would choose for me) I recieved something. NEATHER choice was THE right one. They were good, but it wasnt what he wanted from me!!!

edjfoawejroaeireaorawejraoerjaraeroaejra  AAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!!

Finally, he told me what he wanted. and OOOHHHH BOY!!! it was a hard one!! Something that I didnt plan, nor want....

Yet this was what was being required.

So off to praying I went.....

Boys are a headache...especially this one. Part 2.

Maybe....

It isnt right for a girl who has been heart broken to curse every guy out there...its not fair. okay.

Well...Since the heart break...(which wasnt over a year ago) I decided I wanted to live life without a boy for a very very very long time.  I wanted to give myself time and to just focus on EVERYTHING except boys. Life was okay...lonely but okay.

CLEARLY....

that wasnt possible. He came into my life. I have to admit I wasnt ONE bit bothered.  But my guard was up. I wanted to know how much he would be able to do for me to put my guard down....I repeated the process that I went through with many other guys before and had worked like a charm to get rid of him..but he didnt go anywhere.

He said the right things, did nothing (which was perfect), and went about everything smoothly.

I remember talks with my closest girlfriends...."he's different." while at the same time talking, and venting about my fear to fall for something pointless again. The whole "I dont want to go through this again...I think he's worth it...Noo!! i need to just go back to focusing on work and my calling....but he's sooo nice and when we talk its soo awesome!!"

Talks with him were sooo fun. (: Sooo smooth and sooo great (: Alright, I decided to let my guard down...he said he wasnt going anywhere so what the heck!

Days later....

He left...didnt say why. He just left.


UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.............???????

Yah boys are a headache...my point exactly!

This time wasnt as bad as the time before because the feelings for him werent a grain of salt close to the other boy..But they were nice feelings and its sad that they were stopped by ...who knows what and who knows why? ):

Boys are a headache...especially this one. Part 1.

First, i would like to state to the world that I MARIANA LOPEZ have been heart broken before....


What was it like???


Well....
technically I should've been heart broken forever ago but I didnt want to go through what I eventually ended up going through...does that make sense? well it does for me.
It was MOST for surely (i know those words dont go together but oh well.) one of the hardest I as a teenage girl have ever gone through.

Lets talk about this shall we? ......
The crying- The crying was non stop for 2 days straight, went to bed crying...woke up crying. Yahhh!! /:  Eyes were deff swollen and VERY red.


The feeling- The feeling was "Ill never be able to let him go"...the conffused feeling of how everything got out of my hands was intense!! For YEARS i was sure of what I would end up with...and yet this time I found myself completly alone without the ONE thing i was SURE was for me.


The encouraging "advice" or "words of wisdom"- I deff had tons of people letting me know "he's not worth your tears" or "he's the one missing out" but none of that stuff semmed true at the moment.


The ice cream?- Yeah that I didnt experience..i simply wasnt hungry. Anything that wasnt my bed wasnt appealing. I hated everything. So i cant say that food helped me.


The prayers- Prayer was the thing that has me here today...still going and not depressed. I remember a certain prayer I made...putting everything in the hands of the Lord and moving on from there...


The after feeling- Well...the after feeling...if I really sit and think about it I do get sad. Just to go back and think of that girl laying in bed CRYYYYYYYYINNGG and feeling desperate to do ANYTHING...walk ANYWHERE....say ANYTHING to get him back...it makes me sad to think that anyone ever had so much control over me. It makes me sad to think that there is actually a boy out there whom I believed in whole heartedly with no limitations and that he couldnt give me back a piece of what i gave for him. It makes MORE sad to think that for a guy like ^^^ that I thought less of MYSELF!

Booo!!!

Ive never been a halloween fan. Idk why I just kind of never saw the point in it I guess!

Maybe because for three years straight eating candy wanst an option due to my sexy metals!!

Buuuut this year ....

Halloween became my favorite holiday!! (:

Noting too exciting happened but I dressed up and got to see tons of my friends dressed up toO!! (:

I know that it probably doesnt seem like it but First off...

I have never dressed up ! This year I decided that in order to get in the "halloween spirit!" i needed to dress up!! So the night before my friend and I decided to be nerds!!!

So nerds we were!! (:



 The best part was seeing my friends use their immagination to dress up in awesome ways (:

And pumpkin carving of course (:

SO yeah when I actually decided to celebrate Halloween it became pretty great! (:

To a boy...

Here I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired, lonely place
Walls of insincerity
Shifiting eyes and vancancy vanished when I saw your face
All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

Your eyes whispered "have we met?"
Across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy
And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up
2am, who do you love?
I wonder till I'm wide awake
Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say,
It was enchanted to meet you
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

This is me praying that this was the very first page
Not where the story line ends
My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again
These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you

This is my song to a boy (:

Thank you Taylor Swift!

What hides behind your mask??

One thing is clear to me. Everyone hides behind a mask.

I guess I cant really blame anyone for protecting themselves but it totally frustrates me to know that people use those masks to be fake to those around them.

There deff have been times when I have had to pretend to be something for someone ...but almost always it has been for their benefit not my own. I like to be blunt and straight up....

lately I have found myself surrounded by people who have been something around me ..and suddenly stopped. It kind of makes me wonder...if i met the real person...or just the mask. Its so frustrating and sooo annoying.

Clarity is such a huge deal to me!!! I wont ever say, do, think something i dont mean.

I wish people who want to honestly be around me would do the same....

I understand people have to hide to protect themselves but that doesnt make it an excusse to be fake.

A little fear of mine.

The thought of dating is sooo scary to me. I dont really know where the heck i was traumatized but I hate dating and the thought of going on a date makes me nervous and VERRRYY scared. For some reason I've never been able to think of dates as harmless hang outs.

When I think of dates I usually end up in the same spot...and that is someone being heartbroken. Its not like I dont wish I wasnt scared of it but I am..

Dating is a little fear of mine...

SIGH!

Life with TWO jobs...

SO i guess you can say that I'm officially a responsible adult!? Now not only do I have to keep one job I have to keep TWO!! (:

I really love my new job! (: I work for the Provo Craft call center! I know it sounds like just any other call center job but this job is really amaziing! (: I love my co-workers, i love the values my job has, I ABSOLUTELY adore the fact that I work to help other people have a good experience with our company! (:
This week we've just been training. Training has been over a week but it has really been a blast! (:

Working two jobs i must admit is tough. My schedule is

6 45: Wake up (or try to wake up)
7 30-8 30 get ready
9-5 Work at Provo Craft (:
5-9 30 work At my second Job (whic btw I love but will not post the name of for safety reasons (: )
10-11 Get ready for bed

and thats how life goes for now! I dont hate it though (: Im blessed to have the most amazing co-workers in both jobs and they make it fun to go to work (:

Its fun to see how life changes, the older you get...the more responsabilities. I have two jobs and feel very priviledged to have them (:

Growing up is part of life...and it comes weather we want it or not!

The person who owns my heart...

Alllriiggght its time to tell the world who owns my heart!!

There is a person on this earth who melts my heart whenever I see them smile.

That person has to do ABSOLUTELY nothing except let me hold them to give me a purpose to go on in life and love life itself!

When I leave this certain person I get really reallly sad and miss them like crazy! I cant hardly wait until the time I see THAT person once again. When Im at stores I forget to buy stuff for me because buying stuff for that person just seems a lot more fun, and a lot more awesome!!

I lovee seeing this person sleep (: and holding them when sleeping is sooo awesomeee (: Nothing this certain someone does every grosses me out and teaching this person all I know is such a blessing.

The smile this person has is sooo perfect...this person is perfect (: I would do anything to keep them safe forever and I will do anything in my power to always make sure that they are happy.

Ready to know who my special person is?? (:

She's basically a babe (:

 She's basically my everything (:

I love her

5.29.10

Happly ever after !! (:

Here is a link to parts of President Uchtdorf's talk to all the princesses of the church and all the princesses in the world!!! UPLOOOOOOOOKKK IITTTT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! (: It gives me so much comfort! (:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr_cZPnbdO4

Aren’t those wonderful words to begin a story? “Once upon a time” promises something: a story of adventure and romance, a story of princesses and princes. It may include tales of courage, hope, and everlasting love. In many of these stories, nice overcomes mean and good overcomes evil. But perhaps most of all, I love it when we turn to the last page and our eyes reach the final lines and we see the enchanting words “And they lived happily ever after.”

Isn’t that what we all desire: to be the heroes and heroines of our own stories; to triumph over adversity; to experience life in all its beauty; and, in the end, to live happily ever after?

Sisters, those words are true! They are not made up in a fairy tale! Isn’t it remarkable to know that our eternal Heavenly Father knows you, hears you, watches over you, and loves you with an infinite love? In fact, His love for you is so great that He has granted you this earthly life as a precious gift of “once upon a time,” complete with your own true story of adventure, trial, and opportunities for greatness, nobility, courage, and love. And, most glorious of all, He offers you a gift beyond price and comprehension. Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after.”

“Happily ever after” is not something found only in fairy tales. You can have it! It is available for you! But you must follow your Heavenly Father’s map.

As an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, I leave you my blessing and give you a promise that as you accept and live the values and principles of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, “[you] will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.”

 And the day will come when you turn the final pages of your own glorious story; there you will read and experience the fulfillment of those blessed and wonderful words: “And they lived happily ever after.” .

Why would anyone like to Argue? ):

So I have come to the conclusion that I hate arguments! I hate fighting!!! I guess its something common but I made this discovery in myself this week. My brother and I were texting and I guess I said something that came off rude (oh the joys of people understanding written messages according to how they want to interpret stuff...but thats another story) and he called me. When I saw his name in the caller ID i realized that I knew exactly why he was calling and instead of answering I just ignored the call. Thats when I realized

"hmm...i do this all the time when someone calls to argue"

I dont think I ever realized but it has been about 4 or more months since I had my last argument. I guess the reason why I hate arguing seems obvious but when arguments happen I feel TEERRRRIBBLLEEE after and I always end up crying....and not because im a wimp I usually am VERY good at winning when arguments happen. I can get my point across and make the other person feel like an idiot. So why hate them??

I dont really know but I'll never understand why people have to argue.

I do like to be blunt and get miss understandings talked out; I also like to tell people how I feel all the time. If something needs to be talked about I'd rather have it done but argue???

why would anyone like arguing?? ): '

hmmm...

<3 Mariana!