Boys are a headache...especially this one. Part 1.

First, i would like to state to the world that I MARIANA LOPEZ have been heart broken before....


What was it like???


Well....
technically I should've been heart broken forever ago but I didnt want to go through what I eventually ended up going through...does that make sense? well it does for me.
It was MOST for surely (i know those words dont go together but oh well.) one of the hardest I as a teenage girl have ever gone through.

Lets talk about this shall we? ......
The crying- The crying was non stop for 2 days straight, went to bed crying...woke up crying. Yahhh!! /:  Eyes were deff swollen and VERY red.


The feeling- The feeling was "Ill never be able to let him go"...the conffused feeling of how everything got out of my hands was intense!! For YEARS i was sure of what I would end up with...and yet this time I found myself completly alone without the ONE thing i was SURE was for me.


The encouraging "advice" or "words of wisdom"- I deff had tons of people letting me know "he's not worth your tears" or "he's the one missing out" but none of that stuff semmed true at the moment.


The ice cream?- Yeah that I didnt experience..i simply wasnt hungry. Anything that wasnt my bed wasnt appealing. I hated everything. So i cant say that food helped me.


The prayers- Prayer was the thing that has me here today...still going and not depressed. I remember a certain prayer I made...putting everything in the hands of the Lord and moving on from there...


The after feeling- Well...the after feeling...if I really sit and think about it I do get sad. Just to go back and think of that girl laying in bed CRYYYYYYYYINNGG and feeling desperate to do ANYTHING...walk ANYWHERE....say ANYTHING to get him back...it makes me sad to think that anyone ever had so much control over me. It makes me sad to think that there is actually a boy out there whom I believed in whole heartedly with no limitations and that he couldnt give me back a piece of what i gave for him. It makes MORE sad to think that for a guy like ^^^ that I thought less of MYSELF!