My mom's birthday present (:

Well, my birthday is in 2 days !!! (: and today i got my mom's present. 

She got me a laptop (: 

Well, i bought it but it was with her money so ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! (: 

I'm really excited, its great and it really motivates me to write, and start school and all that good stuff (: 

So yes. 

I love my mom and I'm grateful for all she does for me although we don't live together anymore (: I love her and know that she looks out for me! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALMOST TO ME!!! (:

100 things i'm thankful for (:

100. Food

99.  Mailmen

98. Missionaries

97. Blankets

96. Toilet paper

95. My chaple

94. My job

93.My phone

92. Facebook

91. The state I live in (: I love utah

90. Pat..she's kind of crazy but always makes me laugh (:

89. Nice cashiers

88. Nice customers

87. For people that listen to me on my dramatic days!

86. I'm thankful for songs that express how I'm feeling

85. Little kids (: i love little kids they always make my day!

84. People who break my heart (: they make my husband hotter and hotter each time they do  

83. I'm thankful for places where I get phone signal

82. Days when my contacts cooperate and don't burn

81. My institute teacher, he's pretty amazing.

80. My whole institute class

79. My YSA group (: they make life easier

78. My debit card

77. Days when I have money

76. My trials

75. My co-workers

74. candles

73. My clothes (although I always think I need more, at least I have some)

72. Every one that ever smiles at me

71. Friends who are fun to talk/text

70.my tooth brush

69. Straightner

68. My ward

67. My bishop

66. Relief Society

65. Summer

64. Malls

63. Other cultures (: I love other cultures

62.Make up (:

61. People who dont argue with me !

60. Honest people

59. People that go through the same stuff that I go through

58. Friends that fear dating, they make me feel not so loney (:

57. The fact that I speak two languages

56. I got to graduate High school

55. Education

54. Recent converts in my ward, or investigators

53. Cars

52.Hot showers

51. Red Box

52. Talented people

51. College Football

50. World Cup (that's something I'm greatful for that happened this year)

49. Loud people

48. Quiet people

47. Girl nights (:

46. MG time

45. Face to face conversations

44.MG's

45. Post office

44. Mission calls

43. Friends on Missions 

42. Everyone that has ever given me a ride anywhere this year

41. Anyone that has ever called me when I'm sad

40. Anyone that can tell something is wrong with me by a simple word, text, or gesture (those are some pretty experienced people and I think there is only like 5 people who can do that so kuddos).

39. My phone charger

38. sleep (:

37. My health

36. My blogger readers (:

35. Patience (the one I have, or the one people have with me)
36. My visiting teachers

35. My church teachers, or life teachers

33. Pictures

32. My camera

31. Hot puff cheetos

30. Hot chocolate

29. Warm clothes (:

28. The sun

27. Moon

26. Stars

25. texting

24. Phone calls!!

23. LETTERS!!!

22. e-mails

21. Being able to walk (:

20. My scriptures

19. Friends who are there for me through hard times

18. Friends who are always there just to have fun and party with (:

17. People to listen to me when I'm having a hard time

16. Firesides

15. The Leaders of our church

14. I am soo greatful for being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

13. I'm very greatful for all the things my mom&  dad taught me when they were around. Their words and teachings have really helped me get through tough times.

12. I'm greatful for those who have always given me a hand, a scriupture, spiritual thought, or prayed for me when I was going through a rough time (:

11.I'm greatful for those who have faith in me (:

10. I am greatful for Joseph Smith and all of the current prophets

9. I am greatful for the Scriptures

8. I am greatful for the testimonies I've heard that have helped strengthen mine

7. I am very greatful for the trials that I face...that although at this time they seem neverending, I know I'm supposed to learn from it (:

6. My patriarchal blessing

5. My family, which grew this year (:

4. My brother, He does so much for me and loves me so much its sick. lol

3. Having a home where I can do chores. haha

2. Having understanding friends, and family who see a lot more potential in me than I do in myself.

1.  Hailey Elise I absolutely am the most greatful for that booger more than anything mentioned above!! I would give ALL of the things above up for this little girl (except the church stuff).

Happy thanksgiving everyone (:

We all are blessed in one way or another. Take time to write down 100 things you are greatful for and you'll realize you have a lot to live for (:

GINGER BREAD COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (:

Okay I'm usually VERY poopy reguarding holidays!!! BUT NOT THIS YEAR!! (:

I woke up feeling pretty lousy this morning and was rather sad....then my brother came to get me to take me on a Walmart trip!


I LOVE WALMART!!!! (:


I found the coolest things!!! There are so many presents you can get people that arent expensive at all!!!!
Lets talk about the ginger bread cookies shall we? (:

While I was walking down walmart looking for something not a bit related to Christmas. I found an isle full of stuff! There was tons of small cute things that were tops $10 dollars!! (: i got really excited!!! CHRISTMASS IS COMING!!! (: and all the stuff was rather affortable....


I found GINGER BREAD COOKIES!!!!


These cookies really changed my attitude towards Christmas!! (: They weren't expensive, only a dollar each...so i got as many as I could afford and left some for some other smart shopper (; 


The point is. The ginger bread cookies may not have been expensive but they are absolutely adorable and I love them (: They are cute and adding a Christmas card to that should make the most perfect Christmas gift for someone! (:


I know its time to give, but the economy right now is poop and there is bearly enough money to live. But I know that if we put our "needs" aside for a second and go out of our way to get something even small for someone we care about we will be A LOT more happier than keeping those $5 dollars for us!!


Of course if you have many talents such as drawing, knitting, cooking, baking, or anything of that matter THEN BAKE FOR EVERYONE!!! (:


I am an honest believer that its the thought that counts (:

A nation under God?

Blahhh... let me state that as far as I'm concern. God's main purpose is to all return with our families. In my beliefs FAMILY is what matters. Nothing else matters to him.

FAMILY IS FIRST

I was blessed with a really nice visiting teacher, she always was so willing to come visit me. She would call so often to ask how i was doing. I remember saying "are visiting teachers supposed to call you as much as she calls me?"

She has a beautiful 3 year old son who was always running around in sacrament. What a cute boy (: He deffinately has his mom's looks. He has that Venezuelan color going for him (: and the hair. He didnt look at all like his dad. American white! (: They really are a beautiful family.

This sunday though, we found out the most terrible news. My visiting teacher was pulled over by immigration and was now in jail waiting to be deported.

What happened? I'm not too sure, but I'm POSITIVE that she didnt steal anything, kill anyone, destroy any property....she simply isn't "legal" so now she's in jail...where REAL criminals should be.

What matters most is she isn't with her family. And she most deff wont be with her beautiful son, and amazing husband this Thanksgiving, or Christmas.

Now, let me tell you about Luis and his family. He's a very hardworking father who has two kids. The girl is 8 and the boy is 11 (: they have the cutest smiles and they giggle like little mischevious kids. I love them. Luis works full time in construction and hardly gets to spend anytime with his family but on days off. YOU BETTER BELIEVE HE GOES OUT OF HIS WAY FOR HIS FAMILY!!! The kids love their dad, because they understand that he works to provide, and when he's not working he spends all his time loving them (:

Today Luis' wife was pulled over (she's not the best driver), she didn't have insurance on her car. Her car was under her husband's name. So the police had her call him to come. When he got there, they asked him for an ID. He showed them the only ID he had (a mexican one. Because it is impossible for an "illegal" person to get an ID in america now), minutes later, they arrested HIM and he's now being held in Immigration waiting to be deported.

No Christmas or Thanksgiving with his wife and kids this year eather. Here is a man who woke up to go to work, his wife called him in need and so as he is, he went out of his way to go help her. He is today in jail where REAL criminals should be. 

I understand that people take that risk when they come here illegaly and that there are laws.
What I dont understand is what happened to

A nation under God?

People avoid this subject and fear talking about it. However, I DEMAND That people learn about this matter and know what's going on. So many uneducated people have already set their mind

"send them all back!" but they dont even know what laws imply.

This is getting worse every day and it really bothers me.  Slavery is not the word perhaps but this reminds me so much of what was going on with African American's back in the day...people think that because its on the "hush hush" its not racisim. BULL CRAP!

THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS FAIR!!

Why dont they go back to their countries?

Believe me, nobody wants to be in a place where they are appointed as criminals, a place where they have  a fear to be deported every day, a place where they can only get a few jobs because everywhre else talent doesnt matter, just a simple paper. NO ONE wants to be separated from their families.

But a better future, and hope to one day be treated as people is something that all these people have in common.

They like Martin Luther King JR "have a dream" too!

Simply now, people are too up their butt and too self centered to stop and think about these people. If I have a job, I'm going to school, I have a house, a car? Why help anyone else have that too right?

I guess it's now a crime to hope for a better future too.

Shopping Craving.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
Usually I'm a pretty normal girl, i like shopping and its fine but I never go out of my way for it. When I'm at the mall, I dont mind being there and rather enjoy looking for cute stuff on sale (:

Yes. I am a very big Sales shopper. I love sales (: they are the bomb....spending too much on something hurts me more than words can explain. BUUT that is not the point.

Lately, I've had this....NEED to go shopping. It's kind of concerning me.

I have some money saved up for Black Friday. And I guess that is why Im dying to just go shopping today!!! Knowing you have money saved up to go shopping is like the best feeling ever!! (:

Last night, I got so stressed out in my need to go shopping that I almost went online shopping.

Pathetic. I know ):

Blah. Only 8 more days....

Thanksgiving? oh yeah im excited for that too i guess. lol

P.S. my great friend shared with me a website that lets you know all the BF deals, what time stores will open, etc. It's rather exciting.

BFads.net (: 



Make decisions that the Lord approves of (:

Alright, I got many text, calls, and face to face questions about my decission.

The decission was to move back to mexico. I prayed lots, asked the Lord, got blessings, read, went to firesides and looked for answers EVERYWHERE i could.

The Lord answered. Next Wed. I needed to move to mexico.

I began to say goodbyes and it was tough!!!

However, when the time came to buy my ticket back....

the  Lord stopped me and shut the door.

I cant say it makes any sense at all!!!! Im back at square one....trying to make a decision.

Im rather conffused, sad, and frustrated because I cant seem to make a decision but if I got something from this experience its a testimony of how much I need to rely on my Heavenly Father to make ANY decision. He loves me and maybe he just needed me to prove to him that Im willing to do ANYTHING for him.

The right decision will come soon (: in the mean time....

I'll keep looking.

Life changing decisions...

Decisions....decisions...

I remember clearly the day when I was 12,13,14,15,16 praying for this day to come. The day when I got to choose what I wanted to do with my life. The day seemed forever far. I never thought they day would come.

Oh how foolish of me....

The day came. Senior year, I began to see friends around me picking a path for their life. I still thought I had all the time in the world so I focused on the moment. I dedicated myself to what I was responsible of at the moment and for some reason thought that by worrying about the present the future would just sorta...plan itself.

WRONG!!!

I'm going to admit that I put off choosing my path for as long as I could. The biggest reason was I couldnt see a path for me. I knew there was one but wherever it was it was hidden. I tried to go with the flow, since school wasnt happening I attempted to work...adults do that right? For a few months I got into fooling myself that I had control and that somehow the future would all work out without me making any big decisions.

WRONG AGAIN!!!

Dissapointment after dissapointment I realized I had to begin searching for my path. Doors began shutting and I finally hit a road full of

Many, many things happened during that time that at some point made me believe "this is what will direct me towards my path" or "okay this is it" and yet every single one FAILED! So now what?

Well...it was time to put to use what I'd learned, read about, prepared for, and time to finally make a decision! Agh!!! it sounds so easy but making the decision that will choose your path is the hardest thing I've done yet. Especially because I always want to make an effort to choose what is in accordance with my Heavenly Father....I dont believe that my life is mine for me to just go wild with. It's my Father in Heaven's investment and I need to make the best out of it....

STRESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I narrowed down my decision to TWO choices...and then it was time to pray!

Both decisions were good ones but there was something missing.

Approval from my heavenly father...So off to the temple I went after a 24 hour fast. As I prayed about both decisions (hoping He would choose for me) I recieved something. NEATHER choice was THE right one. They were good, but it wasnt what he wanted from me!!!

edjfoawejroaeireaorawejraoerjaraeroaejra  AAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!!

Finally, he told me what he wanted. and OOOHHHH BOY!!! it was a hard one!! Something that I didnt plan, nor want....

Yet this was what was being required.

So off to praying I went.....

Boys are a headache...especially this one. Part 2.

Maybe....

It isnt right for a girl who has been heart broken to curse every guy out there...its not fair. okay.

Well...Since the heart break...(which wasnt over a year ago) I decided I wanted to live life without a boy for a very very very long time.  I wanted to give myself time and to just focus on EVERYTHING except boys. Life was okay...lonely but okay.

CLEARLY....

that wasnt possible. He came into my life. I have to admit I wasnt ONE bit bothered.  But my guard was up. I wanted to know how much he would be able to do for me to put my guard down....I repeated the process that I went through with many other guys before and had worked like a charm to get rid of him..but he didnt go anywhere.

He said the right things, did nothing (which was perfect), and went about everything smoothly.

I remember talks with my closest girlfriends...."he's different." while at the same time talking, and venting about my fear to fall for something pointless again. The whole "I dont want to go through this again...I think he's worth it...Noo!! i need to just go back to focusing on work and my calling....but he's sooo nice and when we talk its soo awesome!!"

Talks with him were sooo fun. (: Sooo smooth and sooo great (: Alright, I decided to let my guard down...he said he wasnt going anywhere so what the heck!

Days later....

He left...didnt say why. He just left.


UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.............???????

Yah boys are a headache...my point exactly!

This time wasnt as bad as the time before because the feelings for him werent a grain of salt close to the other boy..But they were nice feelings and its sad that they were stopped by ...who knows what and who knows why? ):

Boys are a headache...especially this one. Part 1.

First, i would like to state to the world that I MARIANA LOPEZ have been heart broken before....


What was it like???


Well....
technically I should've been heart broken forever ago but I didnt want to go through what I eventually ended up going through...does that make sense? well it does for me.
It was MOST for surely (i know those words dont go together but oh well.) one of the hardest I as a teenage girl have ever gone through.

Lets talk about this shall we? ......
The crying- The crying was non stop for 2 days straight, went to bed crying...woke up crying. Yahhh!! /:  Eyes were deff swollen and VERY red.


The feeling- The feeling was "Ill never be able to let him go"...the conffused feeling of how everything got out of my hands was intense!! For YEARS i was sure of what I would end up with...and yet this time I found myself completly alone without the ONE thing i was SURE was for me.


The encouraging "advice" or "words of wisdom"- I deff had tons of people letting me know "he's not worth your tears" or "he's the one missing out" but none of that stuff semmed true at the moment.


The ice cream?- Yeah that I didnt experience..i simply wasnt hungry. Anything that wasnt my bed wasnt appealing. I hated everything. So i cant say that food helped me.


The prayers- Prayer was the thing that has me here today...still going and not depressed. I remember a certain prayer I made...putting everything in the hands of the Lord and moving on from there...


The after feeling- Well...the after feeling...if I really sit and think about it I do get sad. Just to go back and think of that girl laying in bed CRYYYYYYYYINNGG and feeling desperate to do ANYTHING...walk ANYWHERE....say ANYTHING to get him back...it makes me sad to think that anyone ever had so much control over me. It makes me sad to think that there is actually a boy out there whom I believed in whole heartedly with no limitations and that he couldnt give me back a piece of what i gave for him. It makes MORE sad to think that for a guy like ^^^ that I thought less of MYSELF!