There's something about being Latina...

When people ask where I'm from I always have to say 

"I was born in Mexico, raised in Arakansas" 

people probably dont know why I give so much detail but I just cant leave either out because they are both important to me. 

Truth is I did live in Mexico for the first 9 years of my life 

and although I was very young I remember a lot about it and I remember the things that I saw while growing up. 

I remember being such a little munchkin and seeing all my aunts gather around to have 

"women time". I always thought it was soo cool that they would take us all to play while they ate, 

talked, and discussed their lives as "mexican wives". Later, I grew up to see my cousins 

gather together to talk about their married life, and talk as Mexican women usually do. I remember 

waiting for that day to arrive. 

After moving here that kind of faded because well, all my aunts weren't  around (at least not all 8 of them) 

so I kind of forgot what that feeling was like. Until I got a little older and my mom started bringing me around other Latinas who gather together at the gym, restaurants and talked about current events. 

The feeling sort of came back ... and I remembered that I was still awaiting that day. 

Years later, I just have to admit how much I love "Latinas" time. There is just something about being together with a group of Latinas that makes my heart just burn! It makes me so happy to finally have reached that age where I too can now have "Latina" time. I love it because we all share so many cultural values that could be easily forgotten in the world I live in but when I have my Latina time I just looove being part of it (: It makes me remember my mom and aunts, my childhood, and how excited I was for this day to come! It makes me so proud of my culture and just sooo excited to be a Latina mother/wife. 

The feeling is just unexplainable maybe we arent that much different than a bunch of "Poly" women or "African women" but its just so exciting to be around people my race (: 

decisions....

Allow me to be the first to admit that making decisions isnt easy 

but it is soo necessary. 

I admit to be one of the many who is scared to ever make a decision about small things but 

ESPECIALLY big things. I just get so scared sometimes but I think I do pretty okay for the most part. 

Ive come to learn that sometimes you just gotta go for something! What ever it is! 

The Lord does stop us if we go too far off path but at the same time he wants us to learn. 

I think sometimes people get so scared to make the wrong decision so they end up making no decision at all! Which in my eyes is the worse decision. People over think out comes so much.... 

but even if we over think them we still have no control over them. 

I guess I'm pretty irrational, and crazy sometimes but I've learned to find those things I love 

and am crazy about and to find something that makes me happy, or passionate and to just go for it. 

So far I dont have many regrets because I gave a chance to something I loved once. 

So just decide people! 

changes...changes..

Changes, left and right 

left and right

left and right!!!!!! 

This past week I had to leave my first apartment ): that was tough, because I love that apartment and I will miss it very very much. I had to move out all by myself that was different, I mean I know I talk about adult life a lot but its really crazy when you're packing up and moving alone. No parents, just friends. 

I moved into a new apartment with a whole new set of roommates. Who thankfully I am already friends with. So that's exciting. Then applying for my DA class is going on, plus making new friends. 

Changes happen all the time but its crazy when things change so fast! I do have to say its been a blessing to have certain friends who are there to remind me

:"Mariana, its going to be okay!! Breathe!" (: 

I also read this quote this week that reminded me everything will be ALRIGHT! (: 

‎"Commit yourself to put the Lord first in your life, keep His commandments, and do what 

the Lord’s servants ask you to do. Then your feet are on the pathway to eternal life. Then it

does not matter whether you are called to be a bishop or a Relief Society president, whether

you are married or single, or whether you die tomorrow. You do not know what will

 happen. Do your best on what is fundamental and personal and then trust in the Lord and 

His timing." -Dallin H. Oaks. (:

Bring on the changes life! (: 

Happiness always comes to those who are patient! (:

I've admitted thousands of times how dramatic I can be sometimes. 

When one little thing happens, sometimes I feel like im either 

On top of the world 

Or like...

My world is crashing down. 

Depends on the situation. (: 

However lately I've learned to just do my best, sit back, and let life happen. 

Its a little hard since I like having control of some things but I'v e had to learn patience

and man, am I glad. 

I think 

Patience=Happiness (: 

Things lately are sooo great. 

This weekened I'll move in to another apartment with awesome new roommates, 

DA class starts soon, and work is picking up ! (: 

Life is just good! 

Not to mention I'm meeting tons of NEW cool people! 

Oh happiness on earth! (: 

It hurts both ways...

I've blogged about heartbreaks before.

When someone breaks my heart i'm not afraid to admit it because I like people to know how jerky, stupid they were and I want all my friends and family to hate them with me. I honestly dont know why I do that but I guess it makes me feel better. Break ups suck! They hurt, and no matter how long the relationship was a break up is always a break up. There's always hope in one way or another that things would've worked out and the disappointing feeling of knowing that the search isnt over is always strong. Wishing there is something you can do to help them change their mind, wanting them to stick around to help you through it but knowing thats not an option. 

However, being the heart breaker isnt that much better. 

At least if youre one of the heart breakers who has feelings. 

Knowing that youre causing someone pain you've felt before, and that you've been there before sucks! 

Knowing there's nothing you can do (especially not you) to help it go away, that you have to just rely on time and get away from them to help it heal faster sucks...especially because they're someone you cared for! Wishing you could just put  yourself aside so they could be happy but knowing its not fair for either... 

Break ups arent fun but people, there is light at the end of the tunnel and I've come to learn that relying on friends, family and THE LORD is the best recepie! Let time happen, things flow, and keep living life! One day we will all have a happy ending (: until then, DONT give up! 

It hurts both ways... 

My new fave person!

Okay so last night I spent over 2 hours doing a research on my new
"idol" ha ha. 

I have officially adopted "Marilyn Monroe" as one of my fave ladies! 

I'm aware she is known as a "sex symbol" but aside from her wild life I just really like her! I began liking her because of her qutoes...so many of her quotes are amazing! 

Some of my fave are. 

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesnt believe, and leaves before she is left."

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as he** don't deserve me at my best."

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

"Someone said to me, 'If fifty percent of the experts in Hollywood said you had no talent and should give up, what would you do?' My answer was then and still is, 'If a hundred percent told me that, all one hundred percent would be wrong.'"

Maybe my new lil "idol" is a little dumb but I think she was a very wise woman (: She held her ground and knew who she was better than people think! 

Nuff said!

"One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most,have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, 

“The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you."